- What is mediation, according to F4J? Mediation, according to F4J, is a voluntary process outlined in sections 21 and 33 of the Children’s Act, the Divorce Act, and High Court Rule 41A. It is a means for mature individuals to amicably resolve issues arising from the dissolution of a relationship.
- Why does F4J insist on mediation over litigation? F4J emphasizes mediation over litigation, asserting that through mediation, individuals retain control over the resolution process and take responsibility for the outcomes, unlike in litigation, where control is handed over to external parties.
- Why are lawyers the problem? Lawyers use the mediation process as an information-gathering exercise. We are aware that lawyers advise mothers in general to “mediate” with the sole intent of gathering as much financial information and “dirt” on the father so as to be used later in court. Mothers and some fathers are specifically advised once all the information is gathered to antagonize the other party, with the specific intent of their lawyer to then advise the opposing council that mediation has failed because the father became aggressive. It’s at about this time that restraining orders are issued under false, fake, or non-existent evidence to further penalize the father from seeing his children and begin the process of alienation.
- What is the agenda of lawyers for collapsing the mediation process? Lawyers collapse the mediation process with the specific intent to drag out the legal battle for as long as possible with the specific intent to generate fees over the longest period possible
- Can a lawyer mediate between you and your ex? NO!, Lawyers are not mediators. Lawyers are conflict-driven by nature; they do not possess the emotional IQ to mediate in the best interest of both parties, only their client. Fathers generally fall into the trap of going to mommy’s lawyer to mediate a settlement where the father is deliberately lied to, intimidated, and bullied into a completely unacceptable settlement.
- Who can mediate? A suitably qualified mediator who is independent and unknown to both parties prior to commencing the mediation, both of you submit a mediator and draw a name from the hat. Under no circumstances, use a mediator recommended by the other party’s lawyer; it’s a trap.
- What aspects of F4J advocate for automatic 50/50 joint equal shared rights and responsibilities? F4J advocates for automatic 50/50 joint equal shared rights and responsibility for contact, care, guardianship, and maintenance, with a constitutional court ruling in 2022 reaffirming unmarried fathers’ guardianship rights.
- What is the objective of making contact, care, and maintenance 50/50? F4J aims to simplify negotiations in logistics and finances once contact, care, and maintenance are made 50/50, ensuring a fair distribution of responsibilities.
- Why does F4J criticize the current legal process? F4J questions the lengthy and costly nature of the current legal process, which can take 5 to 8 years at a significant financial expense, often reaching between R1 million and R5 million.
- What is F4J’s proposed solution to streamline the process? F4J proposes a mandatory 90-day timeline for concluding a parenting plan and divorce through mediation, drawing parallels to Elon Musk’s perspective on setting timelines for efficiency.
- How long should a mediation for a parenting plan ideally take, according to F4J? F4J suggests that a parenting plan mediation should take no longer than six sessions, each lasting one to one and a half hours.
- What is the suggested timeframe for including a divorce in mediation, according to F4J? F4J recommends that mediation, including a divorce, should ideally be completed within 10 sessions. Our record for mediating both a divorce and parenting plan is two and a half hours. It can be done if you want to
- Why is F4J advocating for a mandatory 90-day timeline? F4J argues that setting a mandatory 90-day timeline encourages efficiency and prevents unnecessary delays in the mediation process.
- What analogy does F4J use to support the importance of timelines? F4J references Elon Musk’s analogy, stating that if one gives oneself a specific timeframe, the task is more likely to be accomplished within that timeframe.
- What is F4J’s response to resistance from legal and psychological professionals regarding the proposed timeline? F4J expresses concern over resistance within the legal and psychological community, emphasizing the need for accountability among trained professionals.
- Why does F4J call for legal and psychological professionals to be personally and legally liable? F4J argues that professionals resisting accountability should raise concerns, and they should be held personally and legally liable to ensure the best possible service and advice to clients.
- What is F4J’s stance on existing regulatory bodies like LPC and HPCSA? F4J dismisses the effectiveness of regulatory bodies like LPC and HPCSA, referring to them as “useless toothless tigers” and accusing them of protecting each other.
- What is F4J’s ultimate call to action regarding mediation? F4J advocates for mediation to be automatically mandatory and completed within 90 days post-separation, suggesting a change in name, process, or procedure if needed.
- Why does F4J believe in the importance of mediation being mandatory? F4J argues that making mediation mandatory ensures a swift resolution and prevents unnecessary delays in addressing post-separation issues.
- How does F4J address the concerns of individuals who cannot afford the current legal process? F4J highlights the financial burden of the current legal process and emphasizes the need for a more accessible and efficient alternative through mandatory mediation.
- What role does personal responsibility play in F4J’s approach to mediation? F4J emphasizes that individuals, through mediation, own the outcomes and success or failure of the finalized plan, fostering personal responsibility in the resolution process.
- How does F4J view the traditional legal approach to resolving post-separation issues? F4J critiques the traditional legal approach, suggesting that it often results in a messy and prolonged legal battle, contrary to the more amicable and controlled nature of mediation.
- Why does F4J oppose handing over control to external individuals in litigation? F4J believes that in litigation, individuals hand over control of their lives to external parties who may not have a personal interest in the success or failure of the outcome.
- What does F4J propose if the term “mediation” doesn’t align with the objective? F4J suggests changing the name, process, or procedure if the term “mediation” does not accurately represent the objective of achieving a swift and amicable resolution post-separation.
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