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| Posted By: |
Desperate Mommy on 2010-07-30 14:07:59 (Report this Post) |
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| Subject |
Co-parenting help |
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I have two kids out of a previous relationship and we are co-parenting (or trying to) I think my ex suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder as he believes he's own lies, very charming but once you get to know him you see the real him, he becomes aggresive and many more other factors.
We are currently going for mediation, but I don't think that it's working as he makes promises and doens't do anything about it.
I have the following issues with him and maybe you as father's can tell me if I'm being oversensitive, perfectionist and many other names that he calls me:
1. He was suppose to collect the kids for Father's day -
he never showed up and lied about where he was (said
he was in an accident, but told he's current girlfriend
who doesn't live with him but has his baby a different
lie)
2. he's once again not paying the one child's school fees
(he was suspended last year because of it) I've
suggested cheaper school and he insists.
3. he puts the same sandwiches in for my one son -
3 days in a row (then when I tried to talk to him about
it he rolls he's eyes at me), the Friday when i picked up
my other child - he's put that exact sandwich in for him.
In my mind if my child ate it, he could've got food
poisening.
4. my one son plays rugby, he's constantly late dropping
him off for rugby matches or late to come and watch,
this causes my son a lot of tension as he gets upset
when he's dad's not there.
5. when they get back to me, they're always rather dirty
i.e. ears haven't been cleaned, nails havent' been cut,
hair hasn't been washed and this is for a week at a
time.
I'm just tired of always being the one that has to mop up their tears when he dissapoints them or when they're embarresed because they wear dirty clothes to matches and practises.
I don't want to take them away from him - that is not my intention at all, but I'm at the means of working from home so it makes life a little easier. I can collect them from school earlier, do homework with them, wash them and spend some quality time with them. My suggestion was that he does 3 weekends out of the month and a mid week visit, he's response to that was - "then when am I suppose to go out and stuff"
But in the meantime my children are suffering. I've contacted our mediator once again today and he now doesn't want to meet with her, but wants to try and sort it out between ourselves. But he sends me sms stating "I don't usually like to play games where my children's emotions are involved, but I'll make an exception with you and make sure I'll win:"
Does this sound like someone that is willing to negotiate?
Please help, I do't have money for an expensive lawyer and what are my rights so far in protecting my children.
Please someone help me and my kids - I don't know what to do.
Desperate Mommy
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Posted on: Fathers-4-Justice South Africa - http://www.f4j.co.za/ - IP Address Logged |
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| Reply Posted By: |
Raymond on 2010-08-16 11:51:43 (Report this Post) |
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| Subject |
RE: Co-parenting help |
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Desparate mommy
I understand exactly what you are going thru and this is just one of the many challenges we have to endure. Children are born in shacks and have other life adversities. We do not like it either but just is something we have to accept we have no power to stop it, we can only do the best with what we have. Being your own children we feel that we need to protect them and give them the best, in your situation you can not do that either. You have to teach them how to deal with life and what they have and make plans to cope. Just be their stable factor in life. Unless the situation really gets out of hand you have to accept it is reality. Mental illness is reality. They will live their life as they get older and be wiser.
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Posted on: Fathers-4-Justice South Africa - http://www.f4j.co.za/ - IP Address Logged |
