I was engaged to the father of my unborn child (I'm now 36wks pregnant) but when he found out I was expecting he wanted me to have an abortion. I refused and he then told me not to expect anything from him and I'm on my own. Now just before the baby is due he wants to be present at the birth and he wants visitation. He has not contributed to any of the maternity costs (I'm paying privately for everything as I do not have a medical aid) and has not even bought so much as a pack of nappies. He claims he can't afford to contribute but before I fell pregnant would boast he can survive financially for 2yrs without having to work. He has only just told his mom that I am pregnant just before I am due to deliver and has kept it from everyone he knows.
Do I allow him to be present at the birth as he does not get on with my mom and I don't want there to be a huge scene on the day I deliver? What are the legal implications of me not putting his name on the birth certificate? I feel that if he decides not to be involved I will ask for nothing but if he wants contact I will claim for maintenance and for half of the maternity costs. He has been diagnosed with depression and can get very aggressive at times and I'm not convinced it's in the child's best interest to have access. We have never lived together and I cannot afford to get an attorney so any advice would be appreciated.
He is the biological father and hence has full parental rights & responsibilities, just like you as the biological mother. Whether you want him present at the birth or not, it is your decision. If he has been uninvolved thus far and now wants to be a good father, then better late than never. It is your choice which surname you want on the birth register. If you are not going to get married to the father, maybe it is simpler to use your surname. The father is legally obliged to pay maintenance whether he exercises access or not. If there are safety concerns with access, then it should be investigated by your local Office of the Family Advocate, which offers a free service.
