Fathers-4-Justice South Africa - Frequently Asked Questions regarding custody children divorce court orders maintenance father support domestic violence contact access abuse

Is there a joining fee?
F4J is a Voluntary Association which is ...

Is F4J a men's movement or do you also help females?
We are not a men's movement. We are o ...

I want to know how is maintenance calculated and how much maintenance I should pay. Shouldn't the mother contribute as well? Shouldn't the school fees get paid from the monthly maintenance? What can I do to review the maintenance?
Maintenance calculation is easy. All the child� ...

The mother of my 11 year old son has met a man on the internet and intends getting married and wants to relocate with my son. She has tried to get my consent without going the legal route and is now threatening a court application. What are her chances of succeeding?
In theory she can only do what is "best for the ch ...

My brother has a child out of wedlock and has tried his best to give what he can to his daughter even though he doesnt have a job. All he wants is to be able to see his daughter some weekends and the mother refuses him this. She even tells the daughter to call all her boyfriends she has had daddy in front of my brother. There are a lot of issues, what can he do. He hasn't got money for a good lawyer?
He has to go to the local Office of the Family Adv ...

My wife is not allowing me suitable access to my kids and every time I go around she locks them away and then physically attacks me. I have video proof of these things. However I am concerned that after a artical read on your site that the Family Advocate cannot bind their recommendations?
If summons has been issued for divorce and contact ...

if a father of a illgtimate child is unemployed at the time of maintenace being worked out in court will this be laible for back pay whe employed
Depends on what the order stated. If one is unemp ...

My husband had an affair and a child was born of it. My husband has been paying maintenence for the child. The child of the mother had not asked for a raise in a long time and then suddenly pounced on us in Aug 2009. 5 months down the line she keeps changing her demands every time we go to court in terms of the maintenance. We have agreed to pay her the amount she wants in maintenance for the good of the child but she now wants us to pay all medical and school costs for the year as well as the agreed maintenence which splits the cost equally considering that my husband has to maintain his 2 children and myself from his marriage. She is also married and has 1 child. This has caused me great distress and is bringing on the trauma caused by the initial disclosure of the affair. What should we do?
The father only pays what he wants to, or as order ...

hi i have a son with a woman i was engaged to, our son lives with my inlaws in durban, and they are refusing me the right to have son come live with me in Jhb, r there any laws/acts that i can take, should i go to a family court for custody, i feel i should get preferance cause i'm the child's biological father.
See FAQ: My brother has a child out of wedlock ...

At what age can a child decide that he want to live with his her father. At what age do the child have say.
From sufficient "maturity" - about 12-14 years of ...

If my daughter is 12 turning 13 can she decide to come and stay with me? Her mother is battling to get her into a high school and I have many avalable in my area? What are the childrens rights?
They can choose from about this age. You will hav ...

I have a 6 year old daughter. The court awarded R500 maintenance. I can afford R800 so that is what i am paying monthly. My parents as well as my grandmother contribute as well. All in all my daughters mother is recieving R4780.00 per month maintenance from myself and my family which includes us paying complete school fees. My question is with regards to the medical bills. She is constantly sending me doctors bills and i'm paying half the cost which is amounting to a further R1000 every other month. I believe these to be legit and want the best for my daughter but surely there must be some limit. What do you suggest here?
You are only legally expected to pay what the the ...

My girlfriend & I have separated after staying together for close to 4 years. We have a 16 month old daughter and they moved back to her parents'. She subsequently decided to ship the baby off to go leave with her granny (in her 70's) in Klerksdorp without even discussing it with me, when both of us are in Joburg and very much capable of bringing her up. She refuses me contact details for where the baby is, she doesn't wanna provide me with banking details for me to continue paying for the baby's needs. I have asked her countless times for us to meet and discuss how things need to work "in the best interests of the baby" to no avail. I would like to take this further, legally, where do I start?
Go to the local Office of the Family Adovate and a ...

My fiance has a 19 month old son with a woman who he (and I) feel is not a capable mother. 2 weeks ago she called my fiance screaming and swearing (as usual) and telling him to fecth his son because 'she cant do this anymore'. Her boyfriend (who she lives with) then called my fiance and told him not to come and not to worry as he had 'locked her out the house as she is in no condition to look after the child and he would out Aiden to bed'.(his words..we have this on an sms. What rights does my fiance have to remove his son from a situation that sounds unsafe? NONE! they were living together when aiden was born, Aiden has my fiances surname and my fiance pays maintenance every month...but we are unable to remove him from a potentially unstable environment as there is no legal stipulation about custody. Sure..we can go to court etc...but how long will that last? And whats happening with Aiden while the court case goes on? Is there anything we can do NOW?
You can go the local Office of the Family Advocate ...

My fiances ex is demandign R5050 maintenance for their 19 mnth old son. This seems VERY extreme as we know how much his son costs...and please note..he is on my fiances medical aide...so this R5050 does not include the R600 my fiancd contributes to maintenance. 2 questions. 1. IS this extreme? 2. She is demanding he pay R1500 towards rent. She is now living with her boyfriend in HIS house....does my fiance still have to pay towards rent when its another mans home? We dont think she is even paying rent there herself! Her boyfriend has been living there for a few years so its not even a place they got together. Thanks!
If she is unreasonable, tell her to go fly. She w ...

I`ve a four year old son that doesn`t stay with me or his mother. He stays with his mothers, mother(His granmother)! And i`d like for him to stay with me!! What are my rights as an unmarried father? I pay maintenance.
See our website section Important Info - Unmarried ...

Watter regte het 'n ongetroude pa. Mag net die mamma alleen besluite neem oor waar, wanneer en hoelank die pappa sy dogtertjie(ampe 2) mag sien?
Jy het al die reg in die wereld om ook geken te wo ...

I'm divorced but my divorce settlement agreement is very vague and has grey areas when it comes to access to my son. Through another lawyer, I done a proper Parental Plan and we submitted it to my ex-wife. She has however, refused to negotiate. Where do I go from here as I want to play a bigger role in my son's life and was misinformed at the time of my divorce.
You bring a High Court application and ask that th ...

Hi All, Please advise, I have recently paid for a lawyer for access to see my 4 year old boy as the mother is now demanding more money and won’t let me see him anymore until I PAYUP, the question is that the lawyer asked for money up front and thereafter but nothing yet has happened ,she hasn’t been summonsed to court yet because the lawyer now wants more money to go ahead because the initial amount was just to set up the contract so now I’m still paying the maintenance and can’t afford to pay the lawyer so I’m stuck ,and I feel this is really unfair !,after all ,all this money I will be spending doesn’t make sense because that money should have or could have gone to my son ,but now I must pay somebody else to force her to let me see him and I just can’t carry on like this anymore (this has been going on and off like this since he has been born) I mean ,that money should really be going towards him so why do the courts even allow this to happen ,I have done nothing wrong but feel like a criminal and have to fight and pay someone else to get me rights that I as a father already should have ,really doesn’t make sense .... You get to a point where it is a lot easier just turning your back and leaving it ,the amount of stress put on a person going through this is not funny at all, but yet the women goes through this ritual and couldn’t give a damn about anything or anyone let alone the KID involved(she automatically gets to see him all day everyday) who the law is apparently trying to protect ,how can me as a father not being able to see my own son, because of the mother ,be justified in court ??,yes if I was an abuser or drunkard or wasn’t willing to pay or help when needed, sure then I can understand ,keep that person as far away as possible ,but all I want to do is spend some time with him and be there as a father , but allot of young kids now have to grow up without that biological parent because of this same situation and how can that be a good thing ,it just saddens me ??But like I said the women go through this as if it is there right and it’s completely warped... Really distressed and upset, Sheldon.
Hi. If there is an existing court order in place ...

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